THE FEELINGS OF PAIN
At times when I talk to you
You always push me away
You don’t see or feel the pain
The pain that I deal with everday
My life at times
Seems out of control
For this pain that I am feeling
Is truly taking hold
Please someone help me
For I don’t know how much longer I can last
This pain that never goes away
Is from now and from my very own past
The past that I am dealing with
Is the past that has to do with my health
I am always asking
Why me and not someone else
It is then that i realized
Why was I given this pain
To make me strong
And live my life again
Please do not feel for me
For I will be okay
For someday I know
That you will see my pain
Once you see it
Then you will know
Why I feel this way
And I will not be judged anymore
A virtual friend of mine wrote and shared this poem with our group and it touch the people in the group so much I thought I should write about it. I myself have known pain but short and fleeting. To feel constant pain over a period of years is hard for those without it to even imagine.
The worst part for me is the last verse, the last line,
“Once you see it” – Once you come to understand the pain of others.
“Then you will know” – you then can walk in their shoes.
“Why I fell this way” – not feel as physical pain but as regards to the emotional.
“And I will not be judged anymore” – we who do not yet know their pain will stop judging them.
The last line made me think of all the times I have thought that pain is just pain. Grin and bare it type of mentality. Being, as I am male, these thoughts come from our dad’s and sport coaches who with good intention are telling us the best way to get on with the task after taking a physical hit or such is mentality forget about it.
This works, no kidding, we all have come to know some of the power the mind has over the body. But that was when the pain was caused by a one time hit; what if the cause of pain is our own bodies fighting itself, not just a single time but 24 hours a day, day after day, month after month. Ours minds get tired of the pain, walking it off by using our mental powers to gain control over the signals from our bodies becomes harder and harder to the point of having little effect.
The reason for this is simple, the mind gets tired just as the body gets tired. And it takes mental strength to fight the pain and when we get tired the pain comes through. So now instead of the pain just causing our bodies to tire we become mentally tired from fighting the pain.
So the next time we see someone in pain we need to understand what the person as been through. A simple hit or a lifetime of hurt. Even good intention, trying to help, words cause additional pain, because it shows our lack of understanding and fellow feeling. The person then lashes out at us for, due to their weakened spirit, and we do not understand why. We say to ourselves, “well I was just trying to help.” So then we take it personally and lash back with unkind words, or thoughts that we can never hide off, they show in our eyes and on our faces. All the time causing more pain and mental anguish to the sufferer.
Many times it would be better to be simply compassionate, a touch, a smile, a kind word, and let them know we care about them.
So thank you SwtPea for trying to make me understand your pain and I hope that someday the peace that all of us so desperately need is yours.
For sure I do not yet understand your pain but I will try not to judge and just be there if needed with a kind word or gesture.
Your friend CowboyCarl.